Friday, November 19, 2010

Lesson: Keepin' It Real

Have you ever noticed how different people can be depending on the company they're in? I remember my sweet sixteen party. It was a surprise party at our church pavilion, and my mom had put together the guest list. She did a fantastic job corralling all of my friends--youth group, adults from church, friends from orchestra, and my whole family. Even at the time it occurred to me the challenge this demographic presented.

I, like everyone, have several different sides to my personality. While not to the extent of schizophrenia (though sometimes I wonder), it can be a dramatic difference. These aspects come out when the situation demands it. But when those personalities are forced to collide in one place, it can be quite a reality check! With the adults at my church, I mostly talked about my family and my plans for college. With my youth group friends, it was the youth events and the latest Sunday School lesson. At orchestra, I talked about music, school, and the boy in the orchestra I was head over heels for. Trying to figure out what to talk about, how to behave, when all those different social groups were present was awkward.

Sometimes, though, the way we behave in our social circles affects us more negatively than just a little bit of awkwardness when the circles overlap. Sometimes the way we behave in one group or another becomes not just a facet of our personality, but a behavior untrue to ourselves and our values. When I spent time talking to certain groups of friends, I tried too hard to be as "cool" as they were. They were older, more worldly, and I envied the popular, exciting lives they had. But trying to be like them meant compromising a lot of the standards I had set for myself, in speech if not in deed. That was typical teenage peer pressure, but it happens at every age in every circle.

Now, I have a few distinct social groups. I have my Maryland family, my New York family, my church friends, and my work friends, plus the friends I talk to from back home. I've found myself having to be very careful how I behave with each. I don't want to be a different person in each group I'm with. I may talk about different subjects at worship practice than I do at work, but I should be just as real in one as in the other.

So how does my company affect how I talk about God? About my husband? My parents? Am I changing my convictions based on who is listening? I forget that there is one common listener to every conversation I have. He doesn't care whom I'm trying to impress or what people will think of me depending on what I say. His concern is that I stick to the teachings He gave and the values I believe in. He just wants me to be real--the real woman He designed me to be.

2 comments:

  1. I like this entry a lot--it runs parallel with some thoughts I've had about being a consistent person in all of my different contexts. My context does influence me, however, as the role expectations vary widely from one context to the next, and sometimes the edges of the various contexts get blurry.

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  2. I really like that conclusion. The one person who is always there. For someone who doesn't get the idea of God being there, one could use the parallel of bring a person, with flesh on, to every encounter we have. Being with that person may make you recognize the same thing and drive you do consistency. Nice thought.

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